More SOTS extras

I've been feeling kinda bummed for the past couple days, so instead of doing anything productive, I looked back through some of the various notes I've written on my stories. Back in July last year, I wrote a BTtS HitsuxSayu oneshot for Sayuri's and Ichigo's birthday. Of All Things To Forget I think it was. I rewrote it a couple times, but I was going to use a part I cut out for a future chapter of SOTS. It's not very long, but I ended up condensing the part into a few sentences on the final product. This is the original cut scene:

Back in the fourteenth division, Sayuri's office was filled with finished stacks of paperwork. Her vice-captain, however, was nowhere to be found.
    "Mitsuki? Mitsuki, where are you?" she said. A muffled sound came from the back of the room. She looked around the room, but no one was there.
    "A little help, Taichou?" a voice came from under a large pile of papers. Sayuri looked at it amusedly.
    "I know I said this paperwork needed to be done, but you didn't have to bury yourself in it." She sighed as she dug the brunette out of the pile.
    Mitsuki let out a big breath. "Man, thanks a lot! I thought I was going to starve to death in there!" she said.

And this is what it turned into:

"I cleared your desk off for you, but then I got lost in a sea of paperwork and had to swim my way out!" she flailed her arms about dramatically.

Kinda boring, huh?

Anyway, since I've been kinda bummed out lately, I read some Kira Izuru onehots. His personality seemed to fit my mood... And I retook this "What would the Bleach characters think of you?" quiz, and got a decent result, albeit cheesy. It kind of inspired me to write a Kira oneshot for the next music drabble I do. I'm guessing it'll be to "Disappear," "Satellites," or "Broken-hearted girl." (all sung by Beyonce) I mean, my mood is so dull that I don't even feel like writing any HitsuxSayu fluff. I s'pose that's a big change from a couple weeks ago. But I've just been in the mood to write something dark and depressing. I've only done that once before, but it wasn't as depressing as it was self-destructive (to the character). It was an original story oneshot to my music drabbles challenge called "Pain: Nothing is, but what is not." To show you what I mean, I might as well post it. It's already on my Quizilla, but my FFN readers haven't seen it because it's an original story and not fanfiction.

Pain without love,
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough 'cause
I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all"

-Pain by Three Days Grace
0o0o0

Droplets of blood landed in the bathroom sink as Sam slit her wrists. Cutting was what brought her back to reality. Emotionless as she was, the pain was her only way to cope with daily life. She would have cried, but her tears dried long ago. "Nothing is but what is not"--nothing was what it seemed. The people in her neighborhood and her classmates seemed like nice people, but she soon was proven wrong on her first day at Jackson High School. After meeting them, she knew she would hate her new life. They talked about her behind her back, made fun of her clothes, and when she tried to sit with some girls at lunch, they told her to go sit in her "emo corner." Every day when she came home from school she would cry in her room.
After a year of being harassed, Sam decided she wouldn't cry anymore. Beside her lack of a social life, her mother drove her to the end of her rope. She didn't have the grades her mom wanted and didn't meet her expectations. Sam was sick of her miserable life and sick of trying to be what her mom wanted her to be. She decided that she would not let anyone hurt her again. Sam closed her heart to the world and rid herself emotion. Her emotions made her weak, or so she thought. She hypothesized that burdens of stress, sadness, love, and acceptance were all weaknesses. She hated herself and society. Sam cut herself off from the only friends she had; she didn't want to be hurt again. Being away from society gave her a sense of security.

A knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts. "Sam, you have visitors," her mother called.

"I'll be there in a minute," she said dully. She cleaned up the blood in the sink, wrapped her wrists in bandages, and put on a long sleeved shirt.

Sitting in the well tidied living room were her best friends, Seth Anderson and Kayla Summers. "Hi guys," she said in a monotonous tone. She showed no trace of happiness.

"We need to talk," Kayla said. Sam sat on the couch between them, Seth on her left and Kayla on her right. She acted as if everything was ok.

"What's the matter? We've been worried. You've been acting weird," Seth said. His wavy, black hair made it hard to see his hazel eyes. He skin was paler than the average person.

"There's nothing to be worried about," she said.

"Don't lie, Sam. You've separated yourself from us and the world. You're practically an empty shell. This isn't the Samantha we know and love," Kayla said.

"That's not true." Seth frowned and grabbed her arm. He pushed back her sleeves to reveal her bandages.

"What do you call that then? You're not just hurting yourself; you hurt us. We're always here for you. It hurts when you don't let us help," he said. Sam had an epiphany. The two people she cared about most were suffering because of her. Other's expectations weren't really important; she would rather be hated for what she was than be loved for what she was not. Letting go of the two people that accepted her was the last thing she wanted. Tears rolled down her face. For the first time in months, she showed emotion.

"I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry," she said quietly. Seth looked at her sympathetically. He wrapped his arm around her and held her close.

"Stop beating up yourself, or else Kayla will sic a rabid monkey on you." Sam chuckled and leaned her head on Seth's shoulder. He rested his chin on her head.

"Thanks, guys," she smiled.

"We missed you, Sammy!" Kayla said and gave her a great big bear hug.

"I missed you too."

0o0o0

So, there you have it. A bit of OCxOC fluff. "Nothing is but what is not" is a line from Macbeth. I kind of said it in the story: it means nothing is what it seems. But yeah, that's kind of how I feel right now. (minus the cutting and the whole hating myself) Emotionless you could say... I think I'm going to write the Kira oneshot similarly themed, but I've seen the cutting/self-hatred thing done before. I suppose people think Kira is this emo who can only like people who hate themselves. O.o Hopefully I'll snap out of this mood before too long. I should really finish those oneshots before January...