Also, I made a second revision of a Breaking Through the Storm chapter (chapter 2). I started to just change bits and pieces of the original document, but I decided that this one needed way too much work for me to do that. I loosely followed the same guide lines/event time line as the old chapter, I just wrote it differently.
Original chapter 2 is in this link. But technically, this chapter 2 isn't even the original. It was the rewrite of an even older version, which means I used to be EVEN W O R S E at writing. lol Here is what I wrote:
Disclaimer: I don’t own Bleach.
“Ichigo!” Sayuri cried out into the darkness. The intense pressure from Ichigo’s reiatsu seemed to lift considerably, which likely meant that he was severely injured. Sayuri made several twists and turns around the street corners of Karakura Town with only the light from the street lights to allow her to see, which were few and far in between. She followed the source of her brother’s power to finally find him in a dimly lit alley behind the bakery, plastered to a wall with some unknown green substance that left only his head uncovered. Zangetsu lay on the ground in shikai form a few feet below him.“Ichigo! How the hell did you get up-”“Behind you, Sayuri!” With a groan, she turned around to see a large Hollow crawling toward the two of them. It resembled an overgrown tarantula with a seafoam green body and two long, narrow slits on its mask to reveal two malicious, golden eyes. Its resonant roar nearly deafened her, and the vulgar smell of the Hollow left Sayuri with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.“Oi, dragon breath! Over here!” She sprinted off into another section of town, to lead the Hollow away from her brother. When she was far enough away, she immediately spun around to face the beast that had been so closely trailing behind her. Raising her zanpakuto over her head and bellowing a battle cry, she struck the hollow’s mask head on. During any other battle with low level Hollow, her zanpakuto would slice through the mask like a knife through butter. This time, however, the metal of her blade merely sparked as it clashed with the mask. The strange phenomenon hurled her back into a light pole, making her hit her head. The Hollow leapt at the chance and swatted at her with its claws on its front two legs. She quickly scrambled away from it, but it caught her forehead and left a long cut.Sayuri grew increasingly frustrated with the battle, which caused her reiatsu to spike. Bright sparks emanated from her body and surrounded her with a yellow glow. “Strike from the heavens, Rai-Joshin!” The ordinary katana morphed into a double-handed broadsword with a black and gold hilt and a long golden ribbon flowing from the end of the hilt, sparking with electricity. The beast dodged her attacks, one after the other, until she’d had enough. When she finally made contact with one of the legs, effectively cutting it, the Hollow locked everyone of its bones tight and became bound to the asphalt below it by an invisible force. A green liquid similar to the substance covering Ichigo a few blocks away squirted out from the cut she made, but she shielded her face with her sleeve before any made contact with her skin —a good judgment on her part, as the liquid immediately solidified into an insoluble substance on her shihakusho.Sayuri became completely and utterly fed up with the beast. As she filled up with rage, her reiatsu began to swirl and spark around her as if she were a hurricane. “Shockwave!” she commanded, and her zanpakuto sent a wave of electricity straight into the center of the Hollow’s mask, completely obliterating it. The Hollow screeched as it disapparated in thin air.When she reached Ichigo, who was still stuck to the wall like the prey of a spider, she was still sparking from irritation. “Well it’s about damn time!” Ichigo rolled his eyes. He twisted and contorted his body in an attempt to loosen the disgusting substance that pinned him to the wall. “Get me out of here!” he said after having no luck.“No. I think I’m just going to leave you there.”“You can’t do that! Wait! Sayuri!” he called out to her as she began to walk away. “HEY! Get back here!!!” She drew herself up short.“Well maybe there’s something I can do. I mean, it may not be ethical, but it will certainly get you down from there.” A playfully evil look over came her face, and she brandished her zanpakuto, once again in its sealed form. “Just hold still, Ichi-nii.”“Wait, wait! Nevermind! Please don’t!” he panicked. With a few motions, she cut around him in an outline and let him fall to the ground. What was he thinking? That she’d cut his skin off?Sayuri helped her brother up, and they walked home together in silence —that is, until Ichigo noted that her small stature made her a suitable cane for him to walk with, at which point she flipped him on his back and left him to get home by himself.
The next day in class, Sayuri worked with Tatsuki, Nayuki, and Orihime as they formulated a plan for their science project. It was a requirement for the school science fair, but only the members of the science club had really interesting projects. One group had been working on transforming a colony of bacteria to fluoresce under UV light on an arabinose agar plate, while another attempted to demonstrate synaptic plasticity in the nervous system of a sea slug. Orihime cheerily narrated her vision of a 300 foot tall robot with a built in flame thrower, tank treads, and a maximum speed of 200 miles per hour. Tatsuki and Sayuri politely told her that while they thought it was a good idea, none of them would like to be arrested for creation of an illegal weapon, and no, painting a picture of Chappy the Rabbit on the side of the machine would not make it any less intimidating. Personally, Sayuri hated science, math, and all the thinking that came with the two subjects.Periodically throughout the day, Sayuri kept feeling like there was a strange presence outside the school grounds. After school, as she walked home by herself, she sensed an unfamiliar reiatsu lurking behind every corner. When she was almost to the Kurosaki clinic, her phone beeped with another Hollow alert. She swallowed a gikongan and instructed it to go straight home, then took off in the direction of the familiar sound of a Hollow screeching and howling.“Ooh, he heh... A little girl! You smell like Shinigami. I like the smell of Shinigami,” an eerie voice spoke from close behind her.“Strike from the heavens, Rai-Joshin!” She said as she whipped around to face the monster. Before she could react, the Hollow took a large bite out of her left shoulder. She winced, but she felt no pain. In fact, it felt like the Hollow had injected a local anesthetic into her arm because she couldn’t feel her left arm at all.“I am NOT little!” While it was still in close proximity, she stabbed its mask and sent a shockwave straight into it. The mask shattered, and the hollow vanished, but the lack of feeling in Sayuri’s arm did not. Soon the feeling started to spread throughout her entire body, and the last thing she remembered before passing out was a dog barking as it chased a stray cat down the street.
No comments:
Post a Comment