Currently reading: Wastelands
Currently playing: Jak 3
Currently writing: nothing
Current mood: sad... a little empty
Eh, not too much to say. I've been pretty busy with the end-of-the-year graduation stuff and all. Had prom last weekend, Senior trip tomorrow, Alumni Banquet Saturday, flute choir practice Sunday, environmental club trip next week, then band trip, band concert, baccalaureate, finals, graduation, and flute choir concert.
Don't tell me that's not a viable excuse for lack of updates.
About updates.... I just don't feel like it. =\ I don't feel like writing a whole lot right now. I did manage to finish chapter 2 of The Wrath of Adelais (did I mention I changed the name of Konec Sveta: World's End?) though. Just not up to working on SOTS, LIY, or ACAT.Good luck getting me to update any of them before I graduate. I've had a couple people message me and tell me to get to work on it, but you know, I don't really care right now. I appreciate it and all, but I write when I feel like it and only when I'm in the mood.
There are reasons other than my busy schedule for lack of updates. Remember way back when, when I wrote about my prom date having a girlfriend? I think it was at the end of January.
There are problems with this now.
Rather thank fully explaining my dilemma, I'll post a rant I made about it after prom last week.
The night I'd been waiting for weeks was gone in a flash. There's no excuse to talk to you anymore, no reason to hang out with you. I won't see that smile again -the one you flashed at me when you got to drive my mom's car, when I tripped over my dress, or when I commented on how tall you are. I won't see you again in that pinstripe tux you let me choose. There's no reason for you to slow dance with me now, no reason for any of that.I guess that pretty much explains most of it. I wish the night hadn't ended... I liked walking through grand march with him (with Fallin' For You playing in the background) and he even danced a slow song with me. <=] I enjoy being around him and wish I had reason to hang out with him more often... Well, at least he's happy, right? =')
It's all for the best, right?
She's so much better for you. A pretty girl to match a handsome personality. As long as you love each other, that's all that matters. I want to be happy for you, but I can't.
The happiness I felt before, when you sing a wrong note, smile at me, promised not to tag me out in PE, when you let me wear your tie, anytime you were around me, I can't find it again. That happiness is gone. My heart breaks into smaller pieces every time I see you now. It's hard to be around you. Your glasses that you think look dorky? They look good on you. That strange way my friends say you walk? I like it.
Sometimes I can't help but wish that the way you smile at me, every time you compliment me, the way you let me slip by with things, that it was just for me. That's not it though. You treat every girl like that because you were raised a gentleman.
A part of me thinks, 'I wish he'd hold me that way.' I hate that side of me. These thoughts are so wrong, all very wrong. It will never work. I'm trying to move on, to preoccupy myself with my work. Maybe it'll work out for the best. You belong with her, not me. I know I can't have you. I tell myself that every time I think of you. Why can't I think of someone else? It feels strange to think of someone else the same way.
Thank you for being my date. You made my last dance the best I'd ever had. Good luck next fall, and take care of her. She deserves it, and so do you.
After all, I'm nothing more than your friend.
So, for now, don't expect any updates soon. Due to complications in my own love life, I just can't do it.
